If having a baby is anything like owning a dog, don’t sign me up any time soon. I love seeing adorable babies, especially on Oy!— Oy!sters have some cute babies! And as the proud aunt of five nieces and nephews, I love playing with kids. But, I also really, really like my beauty rest.
Which brings me to my present sleep-deprived situation. My parents migrate south every winter, escaping to Florida and California. My dad likes Florida and my mom likes California, so they go to both. Normally, they bring along their beloved, adorable fourth child, Trevor. If you’ve been following my posts then you’d know that Trevor is actually a super cute, affectionate, but not so smart Yorkshire terrier.
This year, Trevor was only invited on the California leg of the trip, because Jason and I, and our new condo, are available to dog sit…for six weeks. SIX WEEKS! Oy! It really seemed like a fun idea back in September when it was still warm out. (Summer always clouds my better judgment and makes me forget that I spend nine months of the year living in frozen tundra.)
So, Trevor arrived New Year’s weekend, which is also Jason’s birthday weekend— as you can imagine there was a lot of celebrating and staying up very late. Big mistake! In one weekend we managed to somehow turn my adorable little puppy into some kind of nocturnal monster.
He sleeps during the day while we are at work and there’s no one to stop him (aside from the dog walker— see we’re really good pet sitters) and REFUSES to sleep at night, which would still be ok if he let us sleep. But Trevor won’t let that happen— not after being deprived of attention all day.
The last few weeks have been going something like this:
The middle of the night…
Trevor: “Bark! Bark! Bark!” followed by running around the bed and scratching at our back door.
Jason: “What is he doing, it’s midnight?”
Me: “I think he needs to go out…again.”
3 hours later…
Trevor: “Bark! Bark! Bark!” followed by running around the bed.
Jason: “Now, what?!”
Me: “Trevor what is your deal?
Trevor responds by bringing me over his favorite toy so we can play fetch.
Me: “Trevor, it’s the middle of the night! That’s it, you want to play? You can play in the kitchen.”
Another hour or so goes by…
Scratching and crying at the bedroom door.
Me: “I’m letting him back in.”
Jason: “He’s a dog not a child. Leave him outside.”
Me: “But he won’t stop until I let him in. He’s probably just lonely.
Trevor starts scratching again at the back door.
Me: “At least babies you don’t have to walk outside in the middle of the night! Let’s go Trevor!”
Now I know what you’re thinking— this dog has her wrapped around his little paw and I just need to stand tough with him. But that means ignoring his incessant barking throughout the night and like I said before, I will do anything to protect my beauty rest… Ok, so I also start to feel bad for him. I’m like Cameron from Modern Family fighting Mitchell and his baby “ferberizing” system. I, too, am “like a mother bear. When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to her.”
The first week I truly thought there was something wrong with him and was ready to take him to the vet— now I realize he’s probably just upset my mom is gone and is acting out like a spoiled child. But I still feel bad for him.
It doesn’t help matters that my parent’s treat Trevor like a spoiled child and the city just bores him. A typical day in the suburbs for Trevor consists of running around the backyard— guarding the house from the neighbor’s dogs, birds, SKUNKS, squirrels, the occasional chipmunk and other small creatures he feels big against. In the city, he’s lucky if he gets in one good bark a day at another dog or a rat, if he’s really lucky.
I love Trevor and once he wags his cute little tail and smiles up at you— not even the Grinch could stay angry with him. Plus, it’s so nice to come home to a happy dog after a long day at work. But, we can’t keep living like this! I’m so tired it hurts! Dog lovers and dog owners— please tell me what do you do? Any advice, suggestions, phone numbers for local “dog whisperers” or doggie sleeping drug recommendations would be much appreciated…