I'm 28 years old, going on 29. Right after that (a year, not immediately), I turn the big 29 plus 1. Quite the milestone -- though if we were in any other country, it would be quite the kilometerstone.
So time is of the essence! That essence being "Eau de Adam Needs to Do More Stuff Before 30." Since I have a little over a year until that decade-shifting age, I have decided to compile a list of 30 things I will (key word being "will") do before I complete another decade on this planet we call Mars' Neighbor. I'm a dork.
So here are 30 things I will do before I turn 30!
1. Turn 31. Gonna be tough to do this one, but I think with determination and perseverance I got it.
2. Fire a gun. I work with this jerk who happens to be a gun and I think it's about time I let him go.
3. Stop using the phrase, "All things considered." Most of the time, only some things are considered.
4. Lose a few pounds. A trip to England might help with that.
5. Run a half marathon. So a mara. Or a thon.
6. Go skydiving. Preferably in the shallow end.
7. Learn how to play an instrument. Maybe the kazoo.
8. Go skinny-dipping. Hmmmm, first I'm going to have to get skinny. So in the meantime, I'll go husky dipping.
9. Splurge on a once-in-a-lifetime meal at one of the world's best restaurants. Obviously Rainforest Café.
10. Sing karaoke. Specifically the song, "Tequila," because I know all the lyrics.
11. Travel somewhere new and different all by myself. I'm thinking of trying the grocery store.
12. Eat something exotic that seems disgusting. Perhaps gluten-free pizza.
13. Learn to speak a new language. This one will be tough since most languages are invented already and I'll have to discover a new one.
14. Travel somewhere truly exotic. Somewhere that feels like the end of the earth. So, I don't know, maybe Detroit?
15. Splurge on something I can't really afford, but that will last for years. I've really wanted an antique 6-foot hour glass that takes four and half years for each turn.
16. Try taking a class that is completely out of my element. Therefore nothing carbon-based.
17. Cross at least one item off my bucket list. Like actually buying a bucket.
18. Visit more states. I hear "confusion" can be a bit disorientating but worth the trip.
19. Start a 401k. Although I haven't even participated in a 5k.
20. Learn how to fly. A plane, a kite, whatever is easiest. I have no idea.
21. Visit the Great Wall of China. If that doesn't work out, visit The Pretty Good Wall of Evanston.
22. Travel to a remote desert island. Then travel to a TV desert island.
23. Watch a meteor shower. I don't care if astronomers view me as a peeping Tom.
24. Go to a cemetery and start bawling at the grave of someone I don't know. Then I'll belt out, "WHY!!!!???? WHY AM I CRYING AT THE GRAVE OF SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW!????"
25. Try something that terrifies me. Like picking up a phone call from a number I don't recognize.
26. Attend a major sports event. Whether it's the Super Bowl, the Stanley Cup Finals or a Cubs win. (This joke was funnier a few years ago.)
27. Make my bed. Into what you ask? Well I could make a broach. A hat. A pterodactyl!
28. Stop trying to be ahead of the game. I'm tired of being chased by the game.
29. Learn to count to 30.