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Breaking Out

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Have you ever felt like a visitor in your life?  Or worse, a prisoner?  One who is walking around in a daze, viewing your life and actions through a haze, as if you’re watching yourself move and act in a dream.  That’s how I’ve felt recently, as if I’m stumbling through a maze and I’ll never find my way out.

Do you think it’s possible to come back home after a period of time and find it feels different than when you left?  Is it possible to move forward in a place you’ve been for most of your life?  I’m beginning to think that the only way to break out of this rut is to move on to a new place.  Changing scenery would force me to change and adapt to a new situation, and maybe that’s what I need.

As for the changing scenery here in Chicago, I’m actually looking forward to the massive amounts of snow we are bound to get this winter.  The beginning of winter signifies the end of construction, and I for one, will be sincerely glad.  However, thinking about construction and how well people in the business must be doing (I mean practically every other street around me in the suburbs is under construction right now) it sometimes makes me wonder whether I’ve gone into the right business.

My uncle works as an executive in construction and accounting, two very secure and essential businesses.  He recently gave me some advice about how to solve my job search problems: pick a very specific career and go to graduate school.  Then, once you finish, you’ll always be able to find work in that particular profession.  Although this advice makes a lot of sense, particularly in seeing how well it worked out for him, at this point in my life I’m not ready to commit to one specific career path.

A lot of my friends majored in Computer Science or were Pre-Law or Pre-Med.  They had very specific career paths, and now are either happily settled in a job or on their way to achieving their dream positions.  But what does a liberal arts degree really do for you?  I have been told that it makes you a well-rounded individual.  One who has a solid background in a lot of different subjects.  One who could branch out into many different careers.  The problem is that I don’t like settling on one thing.  I love being involved in a lot of random interests.  College was supposed to give me direction in life, right?  It seems I am surrounded by people with clearer purpose.

I came across a someecard that said, “Thanksgiving eve inebriation: because tomorrow your family is going to remind you that you suck at life.”  Although none of my family or friends would blatantly say something to make me feel this way, the holidays are an especially difficult time, and my continued unemployment makes me wonder if I do indeed suck at life.

I guess I’m going to have to wait for my Chanukah miracle.  Preferably eight days of job interviews.  Although as another someecard states, “Unfortunately, because of the recession, we’ll only be celebrating the Festival of Lights for four days this year.”  I think that’s more on par with my life right now—only half the luck.  Or maybe it’s that I don’t have a Get out of Jail Free card.  Until I secure one of those, I cannot pass Go into the land of employment. But who knows, if the candles can burn for eight days, maybe some gracious employer will let me out soon.

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