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18 More Reasons That I’m Finally an Adult

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The Woes of Being an Introvert and Other Shenanigans photo

If there’s one thing my mother has taught me, than she wasn’t a very good mother because mothers should teach you more than one thing. Luckily she is a very good mother and I’ve learned a great deal of things. But that’s not the point of this. The point is that as an adult, if there’s one thing I know for sure, well then let me know what it is because I have no idea what it is.

The only thing I do truly know is that, despite my best efforts, it appears that I am an adult. I may have written something about it before. Hence the word “more” in the title indicating that previously I may have explained my understanding of being in adulthood, whether I like it or not. Perhaps you could even see those explanations by clicking here.

Now that you’ve seen those explanations by clicking there, like all the other good attractive Oy! readers, the following “more reasons” shall truly show why I realize that yes, I am still finally an adult. Enjoy.

1. Parts of my body are starting to hurt for absolutely no reason. What’s scary is I didn’t realize I had those parts of my body.

2. When it’s bad weather out and I know friends or loved ones are going to be forced to drive in it, I become a Nervous Nelly. Or perhaps … an Anxious Adam. Heh heh.

3. I feel guilty about not coming home for the big holidays like Passover and Rosh Hashanah. Not because I’d miss out on seeing my family, but because I’d miss out on the chance to take home a week’s worth of free leftovers.

4. I’m able to reference things that happened a decade ago because there are now significant things in my life that have happened a decade ago and I don’t like the fact that I can so freely use the phrase a decade ago.

5. It’s tough when I get a haircut because my go to conversation starter of “So, what do you do?” doesn’t work there.

6. As an adult, when it comes to eating candy, I now always eat as much as I want because, well, I only live once. #rolo

7. I can now successfully argue with my parents and win because I am legally allowed to use the phrase, “Because I said so” as a debate tactic.

8. I’ve finally figured out what I want to do with my life. Nothing. Nothing sounds fantastic. Just have to figure out how to do nothing and get paid.

9. I’ve started to try and predict what I’ll die from. I’m assuming the mostly likely cause will be a bad case of death. Bah-dum … I’m so sorry.

10. I started to floss. For my heart health. Because that’s a thing.

11. I have a strong opinion on a lot of things, but the older I get, the harder it is to have a firm stand against gravity.

12. I’ve finally gotten in shape because I’ve accepted “amorphous” as a shape.

13. I’ve come to the full understanding that pants, while being of the utmost necessity in public, are the greatest nuisance in private.

14. Every night, my only hope is that I’ll be able to sleep through my insomnia.

15. I get mad at people for not at least trying new foods. I’m looking at you Trudy Miller, (my sister) who is currently studying abroad in Israel and refuses to try hummus. What is wrong with you!? It’s hummus! In Israel! You can’t get better than that!

16. This winter I succumbed to buying thermal underwear. The reasons being that I live in Chicago, it’s cold for six months of the year and they were all out of thermal onesies.

17. The toughest part about observing Passover has become that I’m not supposed to have beer because beer is essentially “liquid bread” and even if they invented a “liquid matzo” that would be the worst thing that has ever existed.

18. I have officially enrolled in my first 401k. However, I think I'm screwed; I haven’t even done a 5k.

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